Easy Options to Finding the Calm in an Anxious Situation
Ever find yourself in a room full of people and you look around and feel so uncomfortable that you just can’t find it in you to just start up a conversation with someone, maybe you cannot come up with anything to talk about? Striking up a conversation with people you may barely know, can be difficult, but when you find yourself unable to create the right words to express yourself, that can be truly frustrating and embarrassing. Being in unfamiliar surroundings and starting a conversation can be hard but continuing past the basic social niceties can be a whole new challenge.
Maybe for some inspiration, people might decide to write up a list of things they want to talk about before attending the event. Other people who become anxious may practice things they may hope to talk about and how they will keep the conversation going. There are so many interesting tips to use when trying to come up with conversation starters and ease into memorable conversations.
Looking for Ways to Make an Unexpected Situation Better?
If you went to a function and you noticed someone who seemed nervous or uncomfortable, what would you do? Would you ignore them and continue on your way, would you try talking to them and ask if there was anything you could do, or maybe just casually introduce yourself to them and get to know each other? That can be a truly hard decision and depend on the situation.
These approaches could create some unwanted apprehension, but it doesn’t have to. Using the general niceties, can be a great segue to get to know more about a person. Whether they talk about their interests, their family, maybe they go to school or decide to talk to you about their job. If it’s a work function, maybe you could talk about that? See if there is anything about work or your interests that you both have in common. If there are differences, see about finding the commonalities to make the talk work. Knowing there are other people that share common experiences, differences, and interests, can help the person feeling the anxiety feel more at ease.
These and so many others, are straightforward ideas to talk about and delve deeper by asking the person you met, to tell you more about the topic it was they chose. Whatever the person decides to talk to you about usually gives you a preview into what was in the forefront of their mind. Or if you want to be adventurous, ask them what their story is and see what kind of exciting things, they can tell you about. Asking about what bought them there may describe their passion and interests a little more deeply. Finally asking them what the highlight of their day or week has been so far and what are some of their hobbies. When meeting someone new, who seems uncomfortable, try humor, imagine how the situation might appear and feel to them, try to put yourself in their place. See if you can find a way to pique their interest, talk about things that interest you and ask them about themselves, what are they thinking about and do as much as you can to keep the conversation going.
Understand that not everyone is a social butterfly, and that is OK, too. Finding it difficult to come up with things to keep the conversation friendly and going? Resort back to the first couple of ideas and talk about what is keeping you both busy in recent days. Know when it is a good time for adding some silence. Sometimes, if the other person responds with one-word answers or doesn’t seem to be engaging in the conversation, maybe they just need the quiet and time to find a way to relax, so they can be calmer and more open to chatting later. Who knows you may find yourself getting to know this person at a different time?
A few important things to remember when trying to get to know someone better is being your genuine self, do your best to be attentive, and positively passionate. If someone you encounter is experiencing anxiety or unease, sometimes the best way to help is to be understanding, kind and compassionate. Through all of this, while getting to know new people, you may find you are among others you have more in common with than you originally thought!
Some Additional Things You Can Do to Help:
- Ask Them if They Would Like to Share
- Be a Patient Listener
- Keep a Calm and Easy Tone
- Assuring Them They Will Be OK
- Help Them Find a More Neutral Environment
- Point Out the Positives in the Situation
Remember when you work through these types of circumstances you may not only come out of it feeling good about helping someone, but you could also be on your way to forming a new friendship. These experiences can challenge people to see themselves and others more clearly and to learn how to help each other get past the stumbling blocks we can all encounter in this thing we call life.
